我真的不会说，不是骗你的。我不知道我为什么不会说，好像我不相信自己即刻的表达，似乎它总是情绪化的、不全面的、让人不舒服的，至少我爸这么说、我妈也这么说、我的某前男友也这么说。我不知道，用写的会好一些吗？

但似乎被讨厌的不仅仅是我的语言，还有我的表情、行为、偏好，我似乎总藏不住我的情绪，我的反感、冷漠、讨厌、喜欢都很明显，以至于我不理解我是被监视了吗？有人在我脑海里安装了窃听器吗？为什么我爸妈总是知道，为什么别人也总是知道，为什么我总是不知道。

ChatGPT Translation:

I really don’t know how to speak. I’m not lying.

I don’t know why I can’t.

It’s like I don’t trust what comes out of me in the moment—

Like it’s always too emotional, incomplete, uncomfortable for others.

At least, that’s what my dad said.

That’s what my mom said.

That’s what one of my exes said too.

I don’t know—maybe writing is better?

But it seems like it’s not just my words that get rejected.

It’s also my expressions, my behavior, my preferences.

I don’t seem to be able to hide my emotions.

My dislike, indifference, annoyance, affection—they all show.

Too clearly.

Sometimes I wonder—am I being watched?

Is there a wiretap planted in my brain?

How do my parents always know?

How do others always seem to know?

And why am I always the one who doesn’t?