学校这样的群体场所，总让我紧张。我想要假装自己没有不正常、喜欢的东西也没有很奇怪、心里的想法也没有很“离经叛道”。自内而外观察的我，觉得我的一切想法都是很有道理的、虽然和我最亲近的人从来不这么想。在家的时候需要假装，在学校装了几年之后、我也崩溃了。

我想要尽量不被影响、不被每天杂乱的大小事分心、我有计划、我想离开。

ChatGPT translation:

Being in a collective space like school always makes me nervous. I try to pretend there’s nothing wrong with me, that the things I like aren’t weird, that the thoughts in my head aren’t too “unorthodox.” The me who observes from the inside out thinks all my thoughts make perfect sense—even though the people closest to me never seem to think so.

At home, I have to pretend. After years of pretending at school too, I broke down.

I just want to avoid being affected, not be distracted by all the messy little things every day. I have a plan. I want to leave.