为什么这人这么高？为什么他可以打篮球？为什么女生都不喜欢我、还挺多喜欢他？我还没开始的青春期就要结束了吗、我这辈子都没机会谈恋爱了吗。

说实话，我不喜欢这种感觉，有种来者不善、未知、即将失控的第六感、立刻心里警铃大作。我觉得很奇怪，大家都好清闲、还有时间想这些有的没的、真好。我已经一天都不想在这待了。什么历史、什么地理、什么文学、什么生物、化学，我到底在学什么，我到底为什么要学这些。他们可能以为把他们所谓的“正确”、零碎、片面、断章取义的信息填鸭进我大脑，我就可以成为没思想的机器。不巧的是，我从来记不住没道理、说不通、与个人感知相悖的信息。我的世界，我的感觉最大。我想做什么，理当我自己决定。我相信什么，也不需要别人来告诉我。没有问你的意见，只是在和你分享。如果你想留就留，想走请便。这是我的一贯思路。

ChatGPT translation:

Why is this guy so tall? Why can he play basketball? Why don’t any of the girls like me, and why do so many seem to like him? Is my puberty ending before it even started? Am I never going to get a chance to fall in love in this lifetime?

Honestly, I hate this feeling—a kind of sixth sense that something bad is coming, something unknown, about to spiral out of control. The alarm in my head goes off immediately. I find it strange—how is everyone so relaxed, with time to think about all this nonsense? Must be nice. I don’t want to be here another day.

History, geography, literature, biology, chemistry—what am I even learning? Why am I learning any of this? Maybe they think if they force-feed me their so-called “truths”—fragmented, one-sided, out-of-context bits of information—I’ll turn into some mindless machine. Unfortunately for them, I’ve never been able to remember things that don’t make sense, that don’t hold up, that go against what I personally feel and perceive.

In my world, what I feel matters most. What I want to do—I should be the one to decide. What I believe in—I don’t need anyone else to tell me. I wasn’t asking for your opinion, I was just sharing. If you want to stay, stay. If you want to leave, go. That’s always been how I see things.