I Hate School

I hate school. I like to learn. I like to read. I like to discuss, to interpret, to research, to profile characters and authors, to imagine what they must have felt against a certain historical backdrop at the time any of this information and perspective were given.  What was he thinking when he wrote this? What was she going through when she was heartbroken like that. I want to know. I don’t read fiction, I only read non-fiction. I don’t like authoritative narrative that sound like, this is how it was, how it went. I like to see personal stories, emotional perspectives, along with their collective memories that may or may not be closest to the truth.

Truth does not exist. Double-slit experiment tells us that everything exists in both a wave and a particle. It depends on when a wave is observed and it falls into one of its superpositions. I just read up on this on wikipedia real quick, and I believe even when it’s observed, there’s a possibility of its reversion. 

Since the state of everything changes depending on how it's observed, there’s little meaning in discussing what is ‘truth’, since there’s no ‘truth’ that exists alone. The philosophical debate of whether the subject truth exists alone is over, it does not. Nothing exists alone. It’s mutual, back-and-forth, entangled. Yes, everything is entangled. Quantum entanglement is in fact, how your iphone works. 

I hate school, because there’s no subjective truth. I hate school, because you can’t tell me I’m wrong, you are right. I hate school, because I’m not learning, I’m memorizing fake news. Math is not science. Physics is only an observation plus pattern recognition. What if there’s no pattern at all? What if all these narratives, false narratives, only exist in our brain plugged into matrix, our body soaked in wet water in a womb-like capsule since we haven’t taken the red pill?  

I thought by going to college in a different country, the nature of the educational system would be different. Turns out, it’s the same. I only truly enjoyed one year of going to school in my entire life, and that was South Tahoe High School, where I felt I was allowed to explore, investigate, experiment. College was not like that. It was back to the cramming information, and practice for skills like it’s a muscle, more like training, less like learning, or creating. 

I had a friend, who I used to be really close to, in fact, I was one of the first few people he came out to, whom I also no longer talk to. His name is Cameron. He also loved to read, and still loves to read. We’d always recommend books to each other, talk about art, culture, religion, language etc. 

ChatGPT 翻译：

我讨厌学校。但我喜欢学习。我喜欢阅读，喜欢讨论，喜欢解读、研究，喜欢分析人物和作者，喜欢想象在特定的历史背景下，他们在写下这些内容时到底在经历什么。

他写这段话的时候在想什么？她那样心碎的时候，到底正在经历什么？我想知道。我不看小说，我只看非虚构类作品。我不喜欢那种权威性的叙述，像是在说“事情就是这样发生的”。我喜欢看到个人的故事、情感的视角，还有那些可能接近真实、也可能不是的集体记忆。

真相是不存在的。双缝实验告诉我们，一切既是波也是粒子。取决于你何时观察它，它就会塌缩到某一个叠加态。我刚才还在 Wikipedia 上快速查了一下，甚至在被观察之后，它还是可能会反转的。

既然一切的状态都取决于被如何观察，那讨论“真相是什么”其实没什么意义——因为没有哪种“真相”是独立存在的。关于“真相是否独立存在”的哲学争论其实已经结束了：它不是。没有任何事物是独立存在的。一切都是相互的、来回作用的、纠缠着的。是的，一切都是纠缠的。量子纠缠其实就是你手机能运作的原理。

我讨厌学校，是因为学校里没有“主观的真相”。我讨厌学校，是因为你不能一边说我错了，一边说你是对的。我讨厌学校，是因为我没有在“学习”，我只是在记假新闻。数学不是科学。物理只是观察加模式识别。那如果根本没有什么“模式”存在呢？如果这些叙事，这些伪叙事，都只存在于我们接入矩阵的意识里，而我们的身体泡在子宫状的水囊里，只是因为我们还没吃下那颗红色药丸？

我原以为去了另一个国家上大学，教育系统的本质会有所不同。结果发现，还是一样的。我整个人生中，真正享受学校生活的那一年，只有在南太浩高中的那年。那是我第一次觉得自己被允许去探索、去调查、去尝试。大学并不是那样。大学又变成了填鸭式的信息灌输，把技能当作肌肉一样去练习，像训练，不像学习，更不像创造。

我曾经有一个朋友，我们以前关系非常亲密。他是最早向我出柜的几个人之一——我们现在已经不再联系了。他叫 Cameron。他也很爱看书，现在应该还爱看。我们总是互相推荐书籍，聊艺术、文化、宗教、语言等等。