Now I’m left with no creative outlet to grow in. I could draw but what would I draw? What am I trying to achieve? How should I express this? Is it too late now from all the wasted time that I didn’t practice? Do I even like drawing? Why should I do it? These are the anxious questions that spiral through my head when I think about drawing for “myself”. It’s always so easy to do it when someone asks me for a drawing of some sort. But when it comes to making my own art… I can’t do it.

I still crave it. I still want it. I want a creative outlet that satisfies this creative ego inside me. Not to be praised by others I think but maybe something where I can praise myself? Something that I can proudly show my childhood self? It’s not laziness or lack of desire like Sunny often thinks… that I know for sure. But nothing has really clicked for a long time.